Pregnancies can be tough enough without friends, parents, in-laws, and even complete strangers asking questions that cannot only be offensive, but also totally awkward. So these are things you should never, ever say to a pregnant woman.
Are you pregnant?
Ok, so this one might apply to more than just the pregnant woman, but I think you know where I’m going with this. Unless she is offering you the knowledge of her pregnancy, don’t make assumptions—it’s not nice. And no, if she looks to be in her third trimester, bursting at the seams, it’s still not okay. There might be a reason she hasn’t told you, and that reason could be that there’s simply nothing to tell. You could end up really hurting her feelings.
Was it planned?
This is information that is really between her and her significant other. Some couples go to great lengths to have a child and others are surprised by the miracle a couple months after conception—either way, the child is special and just as precious as if delivered by the stork himself. Asking if the baby was planned makes implications that could be considered very rude.
I think you’re having a [insert gender here]
Modern medicine and science have pretty much debunked any myths that claim a baby’s gender can be gleaned based on certain physical signs. Just like the infamous “are you pregnant?” question, assumptions are not grounds for making an already fragile soon-to-be mother any more nervous. Whether the baby is male or female, the baby is a valid addition to the world. Let the doctors to their job in the X-ray and let the parents have the thrill of announcing their baby’s gender.
May I touch your belly?
Would you want anybody touching your bloated belly? The baby’s in there, I assure you, and otherwise, it’s just extra smooth skin that’s being stretched to its painful limits.
It’s about time!
Deciding the right time to have a child is a decision that must be made completely at the discretion and privacy of the couple. They’re doing what they think is best based on the circumstances in their life.
You look like you’re about to burst!
She knows. She lives it. When she looks in the mirror, she can see it, and when she stands up, she can feel it. You can ask her harmless questions like “have you thought on a name?” but she knows how pregnant she is.
Oh, honey, let me help you. . .
Pregnant women don’t like to feel helpless; they aren’t ill, just pregnant. Certainly, do little things for her to make her life a little easier, but don’t make her feel like she has to rely on you for everything—she doesn’t.
Are you having a natural birth?
This is another one of those questions that are totally private and left to the discretion of the mother and father. If she’s choosing a caesarian section over a natural birth, there’s probably a reason; if you have qualms about epidurals, don’t make judgments against her because of it.
Enjoy your last few months of freedom.
What you don’t know is she’s probably extremely excited to start a family and have adventures with her child. It might open doors for her she never saw coming.
Do you want a boy or a girl?
Just like those who think they can tell the gender of the baby just by looking at her, the people who ask this question don’t realize that mothers love their children unconditionally. They don’t care: all they know is that they’re having a child and they couldn’t be happier.