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Monday, July 4, 2022

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Just Say What You Want

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching, which means many of us moms are creating our lists and dropping hints left and right.  Similar to Valentine’s Day, there is a lot of pressure to have the perfect day and receive the perfect gift, but what exactly does that mean?

Mother’s Day is all about celebrating women as mothers and recognizing all of our hard work.  It’s a day to put ourselves first instead of last. We deserve to get a gift that we love and actually want, right?  We should expect our spouses to be creative and think outside the box.  They should come up with plans for the day that will prove how well they know us and how much they appreciate us.  Well, we would like to think so. In reality, not so much.  Not to worry, though. This year you are going to receive everything you hoped for and more, whatever that may be!

Discovering what we want is the easy part. Actually getting it can be a challenge.  Some of us might have the perfect earrings picked out or a pair of sandals we’ve been stalking online. Some of us are content with a homemade card from the kids and a hot bath with no interruptions!  No matter what it is you’re seeking this Mother’s Day, your hubby is going to be in the know and deliver.  Here’s how.

It’s all about communication. Don’t beat around the bush. If you want something, ask for it.  We’ve all said, “Do I have to spell it out for you?”  And the answer is yes.

I wish I had a new pair of gold hoops.  I think I saw some really nice ones at (insert store name here).  If you’re looking for gift ideas for me that would be a great one! 

That was clear, concise and even included the name of a store where your husband is able to find them.  No guessing game there.  Following is a subtle hint (which men don’t get) that will pretty much guarantee you don’t get those gold hoops! 

“I hate my gold hoops. They are so old, don’t you think?   

Talk to your spouse about what your ideal Mother’s Day looks like.  My husband always asks me what I want to do on Mother’s Day and what gift I need or would like to ensure it’s a flawless event.  Some women might prefer a bit of mystery and surprise, but his way pretty much eliminates the disappointment factor.  Oh and he always throws in a gift I didn’t expect but love!  If you say you don’t want anything for Mother’s Day, but secretly hope your husband takes that to mean you do want something, you are gambling.  Depending on your husband’s personality and how well he really knows you, you literally might not get anything. Or he will discover your reverse psychology tactic and run to the store.  Say what you mean and don’t confuse your man!

Some husbands think they have to spend a lot of money to come up with a fantastic gift.  Not!  It’s all about feeling appreciated and feeling that your significant other gets you.  If you don’t have anything in mind for Mother’s Day, don’t go searching for gift ideas just because a date on the calendar suggests otherwise.  Your significant other will be just as confused and you will end up with a gift that you will for sure need to return.  If you truly don’t want anything, communicate that to your husband and let him know that a brunch outing to your favorite spot and some me time is exactly what you want.

Another line of communication is your children.  Most likely, they will discuss Mother’s Day at school.  In fact, the Mother’s Day projects they will come home with are truly the best gifts! Talk to your children about the meaning of Mother’s Day and let them know what your ideal day would look like and include gift requests! Kids remember everything and like to share. They will surely be running back to dad with the info — mission accomplished.

Receiving a homemade gift or card from your little ones is priceless.  Personally, I would rather get something I know came from their heart versus some random gift my husband purchased on their behalf.  If your hubby isn’t the creative type, even supplying him with paper and markers for the kids will create something just as special as if he took a trip to a crafts store and went all out.  Remember,  it’s not just about the gift but the thought.  It can also be bonding time between dad and the kids.

Make it simple for your mate. Print out pictures of items you crave and leave them on his pillow or email them to him. It might be a bit forward but it works. I actually email my husband my honey do list so I know he actually received it and read it and can reference it.  Works every time and gets the tasks done!

Whether you skywrite your wish list, have a conversation or utilize your little ones, express your wants, desires and needs for Mother’s Day.  It’s the one day that everyone is actually listening and the one day it’s all about you!  Take advantage of it and enjoy it.

Wishing all you fabulous moms a wonderful Mother’s Day.  I hope it’s exactly what you envision!

Ellie Hirsch is the founder of Mommy Masters.  Her educational children’s CD, Music is Magical Children’s Songs with Ellie is a 2013 Parents’ Choice Award winner. 

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