New moms have plenty of things to worry about such as trying to get their newborn on a consistent sleeping schedule, so why would you want to add to their stress? Sometime parents and family members fail to realize that their words of encouragement and wisdom are in fact hurtful. Here are some questions and comments that make most newbie parents want to scream every curse word in the book.
“You look exhausted.” Whether you just used every ounce of energy to deliver your newborn or you have been getting little to no sleep, you are bound to look tired. News flash everyone looks a little rough their first few weeks, no ones flawless. You might have to stop from saying: you try stepping in my shoes.
“Omg your child looks like your husband?” Zip it! The last thing you want to hear is your child looks more than your husband then you.
“When are you having the next one?” Wooooww! Wait a second! For many first time moms a second baby is the last thing on their mind.
“Your life will never be the same again?” Who isn’t aware of the life changes a new child will bring? We all know this!
“Are you expecting?” or “Why is your stomach still big?” No I just had a baby! All the access weight doesn’t just magically disappear.
“I lost all my baby weight in the hospital.” For this statement it’s best to say there’s no civil response.
“You have the cutest son.” Clearly people can’t tell by the long hair, pink frilly dress, and bows that your child is a girl. Some other clear indicators could be the shirt that’s labeled daddy’s girl or mommy’s boy.
“My baby was sleeping all night every night from birth.” Sure. Well, then why don’t you sleep train mine?
“Well, this baby may be easy, but your next one will probably be a terror.” This advice can literally scare a new mother out of having a second child. Just because you have had a child does not make you a delivery expert.
“You are nursing, right?” Breast feeding is a sensitive topic, especially for women who are struggling for supply. It doesn’t matter how milk is being delivered just that your baby is getting fed.
“You should try this method.” Every parent has a manual or method they abide by, but that doesn’t mean it will fit every baby.
“Are you going back to work?” Unless your a boss it’s best not to ask this question because it’s easy to imply that a mother should work right away after having a baby.
“Just wait, it gets worse.” When the person giving you advice becomes Dr. Doom. A new parent doesn’t want to hear stories about sleepless nights, feeding challenges, and about all the stains on bibs they are going to have to clean. Instead family and friends should offer words of encouragement.
“It must be nice to be home all day.” Being a new mom calls for being at your baby’s side 24/7. Don’t underscore what a new mom is going through because chances are it’s one heck of a journey.
“What percentile is the baby?” This question stresses many parents out. It’s okay if your baby is smaller or larger than other babies in the same age bracket, your baby is perfectly fine the way they are.
“I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans at three months.” Well good for you!
Instead of saying one of the statements above try offering positive advice that’s what they need most at this time. The best thing to tell a new mom is “You’re doing such a great job. You’re such an incredible woman and mother.”